21 May 2026 On Real Wealth

In the show Your Friends and Neighbors, Jon Hamm plays Andrew Cooper, a hotshot hedge fund manager making “master of the universe” money. Coop seems to have it all: the good looks, the house, the friends, the career, the ritzy lavish lifestyle – but then he loses his job.

He realizes the life he built is more performance than substance. He feels compelled to maintain the appearance that nothing has changed, that he can keep up with the lifestyle demanded by his surroundings, even though he no longer can afford it.

Because this is television, his most logical next step of course is to become a thief out of desperation rather than face his problems head on. His perspective shifts as he views the opulent wealth around him in a new light. Valuables owned by his friends and neighbors now seem like things simply there for the taking, stored away and forgotten. He devises ways to steal objects that will go unnoticed so he can make ends meet (if you can even call it that for a man who drives a Maserati). Who would suspect the thief is someone who belongs in the same world of wealth and privilege?

The veil over his old lifestyle lifts. What is the point of anything? Endless bills, memberships, alimony, coaches, tutors, memberships, black tie events? Coop grasps onto money not just to pay all the expenses, but to preserve what he fears losing if honest with himself: his family, relationships, a life with connection and being enough just as a person. He creates his own game as he wrestles with that pressure to maintain the illusion of wealth as he faces its fragility.

Coop exposes himself in a voiceover, saying “wealth isn’t about what you have. It’s about what you can afford to lose without noticing it’s gone.”

I believe that is entirely the wrong definition of wealth.

True wealth is not measured by what you can spare without noticing. Our real wealth is found in a life grounded in what remains when external successes go away (literally or figuratively). The wealth that is rooted in our relationships, memories, and a life rich with meaning, connection, and being enough.

The pressure to perform is recognizable to us all. In a world built on curated identities, it can become difficult to discern what is authentic versus artificial – even before AI started running rampant. This murkiness makes genuine connections even more valuable. Real wealth grows out of our relationships, community, and togetherness as we live our lives rooted in integrity and love. That’s the wealth that is resilient through life’s ups and downs, and it isn’t impacted when we are tempted to move the goalposts to the next big thing.

I wanted to leave us with an image from a children’s classic, The Velveteen Rabbit (which I realize is quite a strong pivot from Coop’s story). A very beloved and very Real stuffed bunny named Harry lives in our house, so this children’s story is frequently top of mind. The Velveteen Rabbit wonders about the process of becoming real through a child’s love, and whether it hurts. The wise Skin Horse says to the rabbit, “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.” Being truly loved and truly yourself may come at the cost of wear and tear and yes, some hurt, but those are the result of being loved and fully Real.

The beauty of a life well lived is revealed in how we are broken open in the experience of vulnerability. The riches obtained in honest, full relationships are greater than any found on a financial statement. Of course, monetary wealth is real, important, but is a tool, though it’s tempting to make having more of it the end goal itself.

This may sound unusual coming from a person whose job is to help people manage money wisely. This is where responsibility comes into play when monetary wealth threatens to distract us from the most meaningful parts of our lives. Part of financial wisdom comes from paying attention how the tool of money is helping us support Realness in our lives: how it helps create memories that outlast balance sheets, how it strengthens communities, and how generosity expands our capacity to be even more Real.