02 Oct 2025 What Are Your Mantras?
I’m not a frequent podcast listener (I know I know – how??) but lately have listened to psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy’s podcast Good Inside because 2.5 year olds. Oof. Love them. And I need all the resources. She often reminds her listeners that raising children is like learning a new language. We have our native tongue, or the way we were parented, that is innate. There probably are parts of that we want to keep using. But if we want to approach our children differently, or even just with more intention behind our words and actions, we have to practice new phrases, repeat them often, and extend grace to ourselves and our kids when we slip back into old habits. In many ways, we are often reparenting ourselves in the process and learning new scripts in how to speak to ourselves.
That metaphor doesn’t just apply to parenting. Most of us grew up hearing both unspoken and spoken financial messages that get internalized within us and quietly shape how we respond to things like market volatility, career decisions, or spending habits. “Money is stressful,” “someone will bail me out if I overspend,” or “your value comes from how much you earn,” are just some common beliefs that many people internalize as kids. A new healthier financial belief can be learned, though that language may require takes repetition, practice, and patience.
We started practicing daily affirmations with our son as part of his bedtime routine. I think it originated when we were approaching his first dentist appointment and wanted to build him up to be brave. We go through a list of truths together of things like: I am kind, I am smart, I am brave, I am generous, I am loved, etc. Our hope is these are helping to shape his identity and resilience and be an internal language he’ll carry with him in life.
We need reminders of our truths, too. We can remind ourselves of truths that are anchors to ground us when anxiety builds and to help refocus on long-term perspectives. These new languages can help us change the way we respond to inevitable challenges we face, and build new habits in place of old.
Some that come to mind for me are…
- I can be flexible. I usually think of this in regards to spending. This could be to reduce spending in order to stay within my income, or to save more for long-term goals. Sometimes this means be flexible and actually spend more. Am I in a season of life that requires higher spending? Is the trade off worth it? What guardrails are up to protect me from making this the new normal?
- It’s okay to change course. Sometimes the path we envision does not turn out. I thought I’d be a doctor when I left high school, and here I am happily writing about financial mantras. I thought I’d never get a minivan. Here I am shopping for one because those sliding doors are so appealing.
- I am a long-term investor. The stock market fluctuates. I have a financial plan to stick to in times of unease. I have an investment philosophy to guide my reactions to uncertainty. I have people I can talk to to help remind me of these truths.
- My value does not come from my balance sheet. Defining by negation here, but comparison easily sneaks into our sense of self. It’s so tempting to look at others around us and wonder how they are affording xyz. The truth is that other people’s balance sheets have no role in my own finances and contentment.
- I am generous. I look for opportunities to be live this out. My generosity is quiet. It may help my taxes, it may not. That’s not why I aspire to live generously.
When we’re under pressure, we tend to revert back to our native tongue. That’s not failure. We’re human! You might panic in a downturn even though you know you have an investment philosophy designed to go through market cycles. You might fall back into spending patterns that are in opposition to your goals. Those moments don’t undo progress. Consistency builds fluency in the new language. Confidence grows as the new language sinks in. With repetition, it starts to feel less like borrowed words and more like your own language.
We’re in a position to sit alongside you during good and hard times and help remind you of your own mantras and goals. It’s a seat we don’t take lightly!
