05 Sep 2024 Caregiving

The September issue of the Journal of Financial Planning (JFP) has a sole focus: How to help the aging and those who are caring for them. The Journal isn’t alone in tackling this issue, of course, and for good reason: the United States is getting older. By 2034, the percentage of Americans age 65 and over are projected to outnumber those 18 and under for the first time in history. In the year 2000, only 12% of the population was over 65. By 2025, it will be 18% and by 2050, the population as a whole will resemble Florida, where 21% are old enough to be on Medicare. An aging citizenry means more caregivers, and an increasing number of those providing care are the sons and daughters, husbands and wives, and moms and dads of those with chronic illnesses.

The JFP directly addresses these people in an article titled “Three Phases of Family Caregiving,” written by Danielle Miura, CFP. (You can read the full article here.) She pulls from personal and professional experience, and while it’s written for financial advisors, the principles can be applied by anyone. Here are the three phases she describes.

Preparing for Caregiving

The author says you’re more likely to be a caregiver if you are:

• • Listed as a power of attorney
  • An only child
  • Childless or childfree
  • A minority
  • More emotionally close than other siblings

If you’re one of those, consider preparing your loved one to receive care, and be ready to give care yourself.

Here are some tips on preparing your loved one to receive care:

• • Complete/review wills, powers of attorney, health care proxies, trusts, etc.
  • If long-term care insurance is present, familiarize yourself with the policy and consider having the insured add you as an authorized party. This will allow you to call the insurance provider to learn more about the policy and start the process of turning on benefits.
  • Automate as much of your loved one’s finances as possible. Making sure every expense is set to auto-pay is a great start.
  • Discuss how they would like to receive care (facility or in-home), as well as end-of-life wishes.

If you expect to provide care, here are ways you can prepare:

• • Who will step in if you are unable to continue providing care? Is there a backup power of attorney? Health care agent? Consider organizing all the information someone would need to continue caring for your loved one in the event you no longer could.
  • If you are employed, what does your company offer for paid leave?
  • If you need money, either because you’re taking time off or the expense of caring for your loved one requires it, have a plan for where it will come from.
  • Begin to build out a team that you can lean on when the time comes: elder care professionals, estate attorneys, tax professionals, daily money managers, and financial advisors, in addition to health care professionals.
  • Most important, the author suggests engaging “a therapist to learn about setting boundaries, work on self-care,” and, already mentioned above, developing “a team that will be there when caregiving gets tough.” Caregiver burnout is real.

During Caregiving

Ms. Miura says there are three things she wishes she knew before caregiving:

1. 1. If your loved one is being released from a hospital, purchase or rent a hospital bed for them to have at home.
   2. Put together an inventory for other care workers on where things are located in the house, what medical needs your loved one has, and any other emergency contacts.
   3. “Accept that finding suitable care workers who will provide consistent help takes time.” There is a national shortage of caregivers so expecting it to take time will make a long search easier to tolerate.

Additionally, and this is why working with a therapist is crucial, be able to identify when you’re getting burnt out. Clients have told me that providing care to an aging husband, wife, or parent caused weight loss, trouble sleeping, loss of hair, and mental health issues like anxiety and depression. It can be an exceptionally hard task, and you need to have the awareness and strength to prioritize your health.

Finally, engage the members of your team. Delegating to subject matter experts will save you time and energy, and ensure quality care for your loved one.

After Caregiving

The last phase begins when caretaking ends, usually after the loved one has passed away, but securing full-time care that fully/mostly relieves you of the burden might count depending on the circumstances. When this happens, it’s normal to feel a bit adrift as something that has taken up a substantial amount of your time is now gone. Caregiving, while extremely taxing, can provide a sense of purpose, so what to do when the purpose is no longer there?

It’s most important to spend time grieving. There is administrative work to carry out and life to get back to, but taking time to be sad and process the loss cannot be overlooked. Not to belabor the point, but it may behoove you to meet with a therapist, someone trained in this area.

If you are named the executor of the estate, then you are responsible for ensuring your loved one’s wishes, expressed in their will, are carried out. The process by which this is done, referred to as probate, is exhausting and time-consuming. Whenever a client of mine needs to perform their duties as an executor, I encourage them to hire an estate attorney to handle it. It’s not inexpensive, but it’s a task worth delegating.

Finally, the author sees this as an opportunity to revisit your own goals. In her work as a financial advisor, she asks her clients to finish the following statements:

• • I’m happiest when __________.
  • I’ve forever aspired to __________.
  • Without financial concerns, I would __________.
  • My ideal retirement would involve __________.
  • The most significant people in my life are __________.

Being a caregiver is a challenging job. Thankfully, there are many more resources available than even 10 years ago. We, as financial advisors, play a key role, but we are also keenly aware of the limits of our expertise. That’s why we have a network of trusted professionals (estate attorneys, CPAs, elder care consultants, etc.) that we can pull in when a situation arises. This isn’t the kind of thing you want to face on your own, so please reach out to us if you have questions or would like a referral to someone in our network of trusted professionals.